Christmas 2010 Pictures

First visit with Santa.




Ava
 



Emma

More Sisterly Love

Holding Hands Emma is in pink and Ava is in white.

A message from the twins. "We are starting to look more and more identical! Now that Emma is getting hair it is getting harder to tell who is who. Just wait until we get older and we trick all of you."

Elle The Elephant

Ready to talk...

Well as I sit here with the girls quietly sleeping I think back to September 14th when I could have lost one of them. I wasn't really ready to talk to anyone about any of it or how I felt about things but since my doctor thinks it would be a good idea to start expressing feelings I figured I'd start here.

It was a long long day on September 14th. It started at 2am when I woke up with stomache pains. I thought it was just me needing to go to the washroom as I was scheduled for a 8am inducing for the girls. Once I got to the washroom I realized that it wasn't me having to go it was my girls telling me it was time. I called labour and delivery but since my contractions were only 5 minutes apart they told me to hang on until 8 and come in. I did. Once we got there things starting going fast. They gave me stuff to make my contractions get worse, and boy did they get worse. By 2pm I had my epidual. (thank god for that whoever made that stuff is a lifesaver) But things started slowing down and the girls just didn't want to come out. Finally about 11pm the nurses said we were going to try to push. Ava had some difficulty comeing out so they used the vacuum on her. I can't even express the feeling when I saw her. I cried so hard. She was beautiful. Shortly after she was born was when I started feeling like something was wrong. Everyone had gotten really serious and when Emma came out she wasn't crying like Ava was. I cried, what's wrong with her and they insisted she was fine. I knew she wasn't. I don't know how to tell you how I knew, I just did. When I saw them put the oxygen mask on her beautiful face my heart dropped. Why, after carrying them for 38 weeks and having a great 8 months is my little girl on oxygen? Then they told me, she wasn't breathing when she came out. She was without oxygen for 3 minutes. They rushed her to the NICU right away. I didn't even get to welcome my angel into the world. The next morning I went to see her. I will never ever forget what I saw. No one should ever have to see that. My babygirl was strapped to machines. I couldn't touch her, I couldn't hold her. All I could do was look at her. I felt helpless and guilty because her sister was getting all my love. But now they both are 2 months old and they both get my love. I will never forget the emotions running though me that critical 48 hours and I will tell them about that day. I am glad I have both my girls with me. I guess for once God really was on my side.

Bex

ps I posted a the picture because to me it's a silent reminder of what could have been. I am thankful for each day I have with them and am amazed by the miracle of life.